You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
