It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
