Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
