I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Randomize