lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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