This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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