And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she pinky promised me she was 18
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
