Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
