Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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