trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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