she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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