You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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