I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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