Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
you had me at cake vodka
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
