thus making me awesome and them whores
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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