What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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