why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
