Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
