Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
