I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm passing your future prison.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
