Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
