I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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