How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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