She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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