Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
