Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
