just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
