Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
