I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We left an ass print on the piano.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Enjoy the penises
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
