just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
