You can't motorboat a personality
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
