I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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