i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
