Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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