This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
