oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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