I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
how drunk are you?
Several
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
