halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Randomize
