Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
