I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
