I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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