I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You ruined the universe
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