Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
