i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
