Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
