I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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