Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
