Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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