Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
