i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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