win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
