My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
