even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
