are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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