So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
