so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I have post one night stand depression
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