Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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