I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
