how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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