Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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