This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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