Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
