He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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